Are First Date Blow Jobs A Thing?

Posted by

bjb

Name: Monica
:
Question: Why do men I meet on the first date expect a blow job?

Long story short, met a few guys on ok cupid and pof.

All 3 dumped me because they weren’t looking for a relationship (which is fine)

But what gets me mad is the entire date they were asking sexual questions and pressuring me to give them oral sex.

I don’t know if it’s normal, but they seemed VERY used to it. To the point one broke off the next date with me bc I didn’t (suck it) hard enough.

And btw I’m not ugly. My e-mail box is full. Just wondering if I should brace myself for what’s to come.
Age: 26

 

While these men are classless, you obviously need to improve your vetting skills. This isn’t normal. Sure, we all encounter that guy online who is unabashedly looking for sex and makes no apologies for it. However, it’s rare that they morph into these crude Cro-magnon types. Normally, there are signs from the start.  These types want to make it clear they aren’t trying to be your next boyfriend.  They’re testing you to see how you react. I’ve been in conversations where everything is going swell and then the guy makes a sexual comment and I deflect.  If a guy can’t have a normal conversation without using innuendo, I’m out. It’s fucking cliche at this point. Oh, really? You think I enjoy being in control?

 

It’s possible that maybe one of these guys you’re meeting is totally normal in his messages and surprise attacks you with blow job demands, but it’s unlikely. These guys are showing you who they are and you’re ignoring the signs. That doesn’t make you wrong or bad; we all do it. As such, you can’t be all doe-eyed about this. You know on some level what you’re getting into.  As soon as they start making sexual comments during dinner, if you’re not comfortable with it, get up and leave. You are under no obligation to endure that kind of treatment. And let me be crystal clear: a man who would talk sexual to you like that on a first date does not in any way respect you. He’s making no bones about the fact that you’re nothing but  a receptacle for him. And if any – ANY – man criticizes your technique get the fuck up and LEAVE. Do not, under any circumstances, allow that. Do not let a man pressure or coerce you into having sex. That includes giving these toads head. Earn that, mother fuckers. Listen to me carefully: any man who would use the promise of a second date as a way to get head is PATHETIC. Do you know what that means? It means that dude can’t get anybody blow him by just, like, being himself.

Every woman should go into a date prepared to walk out if the situation calls for it. I have ZERO tolerance for rudeness on dates. Zero. I will throw twenty dollars in a man’s face and tell him, loudly, to fuck right off if he disrespects me. I’ve done it.  It’s glorious. I highly recommend it.

See, men like this will choose women they think will feel too obligated to too grateful to reject them. Sorry to be brutal, but either you give off desperate vibes or you’re picking men out of your league. Most likely both. I did a little research of your email and IP. I know you. We’ve spoken. I’ve seen your profile. I told you then that you needed better photos and that you came off like a bit of shut-in. I wasn’t saying that for my health, ya feel me?

This is what you need to do:

First, get the hell off Plenty of Fish. I have said this dozens and dozens of times: Plenty of Fish is a cesspool. The people who use that site are the dregs of humanity. It’s every battered, broken down horse too deficient to find anybody healthy who has just said, “Eh, fuck it” and given up.

Next, make sure your pictures demonstrate that you aren’t some lonely shut-in. Selfies are okay, but keep it to one or two and balance them out with two or three candid shots of you out doing something. I look at women’s OKC profiles all the time and i can tell the isolated lonely ones a mile away. Their pics are all old and they’re taken in their apartments. They have maybe one pic of them out and about but it’s obvious by the grainy quality that it’s an ancient photo. Just look like you made an effort. Nobody wants to see you in sweats or a t-shirt, you know?

Make sure your profile text doesn’t include any disclaimers of not looking for a hook-up or anything along those lines. That includes statements like, “You’re honest” or “You’re looking for a serious monogamous relationship.” Do not say anything that even hints at the possibility that you’ve been pumped and done before. There should be nothing in your profile that implies you have trust issues. Those kind of things are what make women the perfect mark for guys like this. The man will say and do whatever he has to to lull the woman into a false sense of security.

If you’re not comfortable with things escalating quickly, then you need to remove yourself from the situation asap. These guys will either take the conversation to a sexual place while you’re messaging OR they’ll do it when you meet. You know when you’re walking in to sketchy situation. Don’t brush off those feelings. And do not – DO FUCKING NOT – give head or sleep with someone if you aren’t 100% comfortable with it. Just say good night at the end of the night and walk away.

Beyond that, you’ve read this blog for long enough. You know what you need to do, so do it.

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