Question: Will Try to keep this brief.
Just relocated to D.C. seven months ago. Met a guy on Match two months ago. He’s definitely not my usual type, an artist, a private investigator, dresses very stylized and rockabilly. He’s the funniest guy and so different.
Backstories: I’ve been married, and my last long term relationship ended in 2010. I deliberately have only casually dated in that time because I know I pick unavailable men and just wanted a break to try and get things together for myself emotionally. Last relationship was awful and emotional push pull for three years. His is his fiancé cheated on him, then his last relationship she cheated as well. Also full disclosure he has confided in me that he has many gay friends, his best friend in college and roommate came out, but they continued to live together and the guy had a boyfriend. He also said at age 21 he chose to stop having sex for five years (!) because he felt he was sleeping with girls and using them and dumping them and he wanted to change. Also he has a terrible relationship with his mom, she’s been married several times and he basically raised his younger siblings.
So, he sent me flowers after our second date, took me to the doctor when I was sick, all good things. But he constantly makes “jokes” and comments about gay things such as oh yeah I gave him a hand job, but in context of joking. I asked him why and he said he has many gay friends and it’s just to see if people are homophobic and he hates that??
We have had sex three times or tried and the first and latest time he could only get hard by masturbating.
I have really found myself falling for him but wondering if he’s confused sexually. I asked and he said if I was bi I’d just tell you. As to gay, he said something like why would I want something in my a**, I’ve had colon cancer (which he had three years ago).
Also to add to the fun, I’ve done the hot and cold thing with him now twice, our last conversation was basically me saying I really like you and want a relationship after sort of backing off three weeks ago and him saying I love spending time with you, I just want to take it slow and see what happens. And if sex confuses you and makes you get emotional, we can just hang out and take that out of the equation (he said to me).
Is he gay or just not that into me?