Guy Sues Woman For Rejecting Him

Posted by

It started with a bagel.

Each morning, before I go to the gym, I eat a plain bagel with no toppings or butter. Just an untoasted bagel. I usually take it with me and eat it on my walk to the gym. If I have some left over, I keep it with me and snack on it while I’m on the treadmill, like a lil’ squirrel.

Yesterday, I took a Precision Running class. I took it the week before (with the guy who commented on a woman’s ass) and decided to go back. The instructor showed up and saw me on one of the treadmills warming up. He came right over to me and said, “I was just talking about you to my friend from last week.”

“The one whose ass you commented on?” I asked.

“I told her what I said to you and she said that she noticed the woman in front of her had a great ass, too.”

I assume the point of this conversation was to demonstrate the rapport he has with this woman and to defend his comments. I smiled and said nothing because it was pointless to explain my stance.

So we’re all warming up and there’s a guy next to me who also attended the class the week before. The instructor is standing in front of our treadmills and he comments on the bagel I have in one of the pockets of the treadmill.

“There it is,” the instructor said. “The bagel.”

I joked back, feigning protectiveness over my snack.

“You know that’s the worst thing for you, right?” he asked. “You’d be better off with a piece of bread.” The guy on the treadmill next to me agreed with him. “There are fewer calories in two slices of bread. You should just eat bread.”

I stuffed a chunk of the bagel in my mouth. “I take five classes a week. I’m not really worried about 250 calories from a bagel.”

post-57249-no-go-fuck-yourself-gif-imgur-a96d

Admittedly, the teasing got under my skin. The focus on the calories is what really irked me, because talk of calorie intake usually goes hand-in-hand with weight loss. I’m freely admitting that might be my own insecurity poking and prodding its way to the surface.  I eat a bagel right before I workout because it gives me an extra push of energy. While i think the guy next to me was being good-natured (flirty, even) the instructor’s comments seemed more…biting. He mentioned that he led the Boot Camp class I want to try.

“You’ve seen me in this class,” I said. “Do you think I’ll be able to keep up in Bootcamp?”

“For sure,” he said with a smirk. “As long as you keep your mouth shut.”

walker4

While we were on one of the last intervals of the class, he said told everyone they were doing really well. He went down the line and said he’d hug each one of us if we weren’t so sweaty. When he got to me, his eyes lingered a tad too long for my liking on my chest (above my breasts.)

After class the instructor was walking behind me. “You smell good,” he said. “What is that?”

Flowerbomb, ” I said. “Your wife would love it.”

I get the feeling he’s one of those guys that – even though he’s probably in a great relationship – has a ton of female friends and makes inappropriate comments to all of them, and they all laugh and say things like, “You’re so bad!”

In other news…can we talk about this nonsense?

The Texas Man Who Sued a Woman For Texting During a First Date Explains his Lawsuit

Tuesday afternoon, the Austin American-Statesman broke big news about a small lawsuit: an Austin man named Brandon Vezmar had filed a suit against a woman who he met on the dating app Bumble, alleging that she had been texting during the movie the two saw on their date, and owed him the price of a ticket ($17.31) to Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 in 3D. The story quickly picked up steam, and by that evening, the viral lawsuit got Guardians director James Gunn to chime in. Pop culture website the A.V. Club declared the man a “hero,” and on Wednesday, the Alamo Drafthouse offered Vezmar a gift certificate for $17.31 in an attempt to settle the suit.

The woman in question didn’t respond to a request for an interview, but Vezmar spoke to Texas Monthly about why he filed the suit. He said that after he got the text message he posted to Twitter, in which she told him that a friend was having an emergency, he decided he needed to take legal action. “I thought to myself, ‘No, there’s no responsibility here. It’s not her friend, it’s her. It’s not her phone, it’s her. It’s not me, it’s her,’” he explained of his reasoning.

Vezmar, who described the encounter as “the date from hell,” said that he didn’t think that his companion/defendant had a particularly bad time. But he did. “I don’t know that this was a bad date for her,” he said. “I think that this was probably a really great date for her. I was really nice. She seemed to be having a great time up until the point when I asked her to stop texting. I bought her pizza, drove her car—I thought that this was a fun, nice date. I wasn’t actually interested in seeing her again very early on, but she was nice, the conversation was light. I felt comfortable continuing the date. I don’t think that this was a bad experience for her. I think this was a bad experience for me. I think what’s a bad experience for her at this point is being held responsible for her bad behavior. And I don’t think she’s handling that very well.”

For Vezmar, it’s not just about the defendant. It’s about the practice of texting during movies in public, and the dynamics of dating in 2017 more broadly. When asked if he believes that there’s an implicit contract when two people agree to go on a date and one of those people pays for both movie tickets that, if one person behaves poorly in the theater, they owe the other party a refund, Vezmar seized on the opportunity to address that larger issue.

“Here’s what I think: I think the implicit contracts in dating need to stop, because I think that men are being exploited by people like the defendant,” Vezmar explained. “I purchased these movie tickets in advance because the movie was sold out, or selling out, everywhere. This was one of the last places I could get tickets. So out of convenience, I purchased two tickets in advance on Fandango. I think the implicit understanding on her part—in fact, I know—was that this was a date, the ticket was a gift, and she didn’t owe anything. That was an assumption she made, because she believes that those are the rules of the game. She has taken advantage of that. She’s taken advantage of someone else’s courtesy and generosity.”

 Vezmar said that he did not ask her to pay him for the price of the ticket before the movie started. “Perhaps this is me assuming that empowered women are now playing by the new rules, which is personal responsibility,” Vezmar said. He added that, though he may not have allowed the implicit understanding that he would be paying for the date to continue until after she chose to end the date early, he did find the fact that she didn’t offer to split the check “very unattractive.” “I appreciate it when a woman reaches for her wallet or offers to pay for her part of a date,” he said. “I don’t always accept it, but I appreciate the gesture.”

 

The upside to this frivolous lawsuit is that this loser will be dating his right hand for the foreseeable future. Ooh, he’s all riled up and going to teach her a lesson! What sad excuse for a human being.

Now, y’all know that this post – like so many on this site – is going to get a number of comments from trolls of the male and female variety saying the man is in the right. And here’s the thing: I agree with much of what he said. That she didn’t even reach for her wallet is unattractive and rude. That she was texting in during the movie was inappropriate. But a simple, “You know, you have really poor manners” text would suffice. But no, this cocknozzle has to make a big production out of the fact that she texted during the movie, when really fragile little ego is dented because this woman left the movie in the middle, thereby rejecting him. How dare she. Could she have been more gracious? Absolutely, but if this guy was creeping her out like she claims (and all signs point to that being the case)  I don’t blame her for making up an excuse and leaving.

This guy isn’t entitled to a fucking thing. He’s an adult, and like millions of other adults, he assumed the responsibility when he offered to pay for the tickets and the meal/beers. He is not entitled to a refund, “entitled” being the operative word. His problem is that he feels that the woman was obligated to show some kind of appreciation beyond, “Thank you.” The other side of this coin is when women say things like, “The meal was only $17. He could have paid the tab.” Sure, he could have done that, but he’s not obligated to do that. just because you decided to grace him with your company for an hour.

Vezmar isn’t looking for an apology from the defendant—just $17.31 and an admission that he’s right.

Because, OF COURSE.

Shame on anybody who applauds this douche. His entitlement and stalkery behavior (see the full article) is not something that should be encouraged or overlooked.

Thoughts?

Advertisements

15 comments

  1. Agree that texting during the movie date was rude. If her friend was having an emergency, wouldn’t she just tell her date that and apologize? Maybe she did. Given that she ended the date in the middle of the movie, makes me believe Brandon did indeed say/do something that made her uncomfortable enough to get away from him. And stalking her friends and family on FB to get her address makes that scenario even more likely. If I were the woman I’d be worried he’s a sick dude who might escalate and be looking into getting a restraining order.

    Brandon might be enjoying the publicity at the moment, but I suspect there will be few women who will agree to go out with him if they recognize his name. “You’re that guy? No thanks.”

    Like

  2. God, that guy sounds crazy, angry, and delusional. It was a bad date, but that happens. He asked her out? Pay for the movie and pizza, and move on. And no, I doubt she was having a good time. Maybe he should ask himself if there was anything HE did that might have made her uncomfortable?

    As far as that instructor at the gym, he sounds more and more inappropriate. You don’t talk about women’s behinds, stare at a student’s chest or make personal (unwanted) comments to her. I doubt you’re the only one he make these remarks to. He gets away with it because no one reports him to management. Too often, there is still a “boys will be boys” attitude about this kind of thing.

    Like

  3. I agree. This lawsuit is frivolous. Dating is a gamble, of time and money, and both parties know that going in. I have had dates where the woman, after drinking a $20 glass of wine that i paid for, decides she wants to leave after 30 minutes. I gambled and lost. And vice-versa…. i have left dates after 30 minutes, after a woman wasted a huge amount of her time representing herself on-line, and via emails, as someone who she was not. In both scenarios, the one who was rejected has to suck it up and move on. There is no legal contract, or implied duty, before a date, other than to obviously not do anything illegal like drive drunk. This guy’s lawsuit will be thrown out by a judge, even if all of his facts are true.

    Like

  4. Thoughts on those women only gyms? Never been but wonder if those places are more welcoming. Equinox seems to attract a lot of those hyper Type-A aggro types from my visits, though I suppose if you’re paying $200 a month, a sense of entitlement is to be expected from their members

    Like

    1. For all the complaints I have for some of the instructors and trainers, I do very much enjoy the social aspect of my location. Of all the locations I’ve been to, 85th Street is the smallest. I like that. You see the same faces every day and so you smile and wave and eventually start chatting with them. I’ve met some really nice men and women there. There are two women I see every week and we take the same yoga class. We hang out for a bit after class and talk. For someone who had been so closed off for so long, it’s nice to connect with people. The guy from my Precision Running class approached me yesterday and started chatting me up and a guy I’ve had my eye on for months finally talked to me after the yoga class we took on Thursday. They’re both in their fifties and age appropriate, so we’ll see. It’s weird to go from not getting any attention from men I find attractive online to getting attention from similar men offline.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I heard about that on the radio … what a douche!

    As for the bagel comment.. that guy is socially inept. He forgets that you are still expensing calories and that the fuel in the bagel is what’s going go give you that and then some. Pre work out drinks can go as high as 250 cals and that’s with so much caffeine !! My one gf she teaches classes and I have seen her do it she scoffs down a dam honey glazed donut before class to give her energy.

    So do what works for your body and your work out and thanks the mansplaining and move along…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I swear to god the first thing that popped in my head after I read about the bagel was “but they are so bad for you” and then I read the rest of the story and were like “oh.. Ok”. At my weight/age it takes me 40 min running on a treadmill to burn the calories in one bagel, it would absolutely KILL me to cancel out the entire workout with a bagel, which is not even a meal…like my trainer says abs are made in the kitchen.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Also, I also belong to Equinox (former rebook on the UWS) and I am having a radically different experience there. I have never encountered an instructor who’d be so talkative, for the lack of a better word, or condescending or inappropriate, etc. I find it very transactional (I prefer it that way) – I am in, i work out, I am out. I don’t socialize there and never put any thought into who said what it looked where, don’t really care. Everybody else seems to mind their own business as well. I rarely even see people talk to each other.

    I wonder though if the difference is due to the hours. I usually go after 6pm or before 7am, i.e. when it’s all professionals before or after work. I wonder who are the people who are there in the middle of the day? Self-employed, housewives, unemployed? People with too much free time on their hands to give a shit about their neighbor exiting the class early and other such bs?Perhaps this demographic is what accounts for a more cliqueish, less professional environment overall.

    Like

    1. If you’re so successful that you can look down on the housewives and the self-employed, why did you downgrade from the most exclusive gym in Manhattan (Reebok) to Equinox and why do you live on the UWS and not Chelsea or Tribeca? The UWS is a dump.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Equinox bought rebok long time ago, and if you don’t know that, debating Manhattan neighborhoods or anything else of substance with you is pointless.

        Like

  8. Based on my personal experience, the “lawsuit guy” is a typical Borderline Personality Disorder/Stalkerish type person. There is absolutely no shortage of these kinds of dudes in a high-tech city like Austin, with a lot of dudes who are awesome at Java, Pearl, or network security but darkly incompetent dealing with humans.

    The woman he was with probably saw that very soon into the date and was texting a friend to get tips on how to best “escape.”

    This is all confirmed by the man’s actions during and after the date: his complete inability to empathize, read social cues, or interpret feedback from others, and an overpowering sense of entitlement (not in the social-justice warrior sense, but in sort of “right of physical ownership”). Think this dude would walk away if this woman handed him $20? Or even $100? No. Anyone who’s dealt with stalker/BPD people understands.

    The “lawsuit” is an attempt to get the woman’s personal contact information, not to get money. This is because in a civil court case (depending on the state and specific case, but still very common), the court gives the contact information of all parties (names, address, phone numbers, etc.)—which is absolute gold to a BPD/stalker. After that, he can make himself a fixture in her email inbox, voicemail messages, and perhaps outside her home. After all, he’s “owed” a response after “paying so much for her date” and/or because of her “rudeness.” It sounds crazy to a normal person, but this is how these people think.

    The “defendant” (the woman), may also be compelled to appear in court, if only briefly while the case is dismissed. This is also more gold to the BPD/Stalker, as it feeds his (or her) fixation by seeing her there for at least an hour or so. In fact, many of these crazies file repeated frivolous lawsuits for the sole purpose of gaining info on someone (ex: after they’ve moved to escape pursuit) and/or forcing contact in a courtroom.

    Hopefully I’m wrong about all this, but this guy doesn’t seem at all like the typical (but harmless) Red Pill/MRA loser typing from his mom’s basement or nerd in the corporate IT dungeon.

    I suggest this woman take very robust and proactive defensive measures.

    Like

    1. Yeah, it occurred to me that maybe the woman got a bad vibe off the guy and was texting a friend what to do. If I were the friend, I might have told her to trust her gut, she wasn’t under obligation to stay through the movie, just make an excuse about an emergency, and leave.

      Had she handed him a $20 when she left made the situation better? May have made him suspicious of her “emergency” and set him off making it more difficult to make a graceful exit. If she was really creeped out, I can see how she wouldn’t be thinking about cash – just getting away with the least amount of drama.

      Like

    2. In most states a $17 claim would fall under a small claims court purview. It would actually be his responsibility to locate and serve the defendant, courts don’t go looking for people. This case will be thrown out in about 5 minute and is wholly not worth discussing

      Like

  9. The “defendant” (woman) stated,
    “I did have a very brief date with Brandon, that I chose to end prematurely. His behavior made me extremely uncomfortable, and I felt I needed to remove myself from the situation for my own safety.”

    Key is, Brandon can read this statement, and still be totally blind, lack total empathy with his victim. He retains only the mindset of the crazy BPD. For any normal man, if a woman said or even intimated—if only by body language–that she felt “unsafe around him” he would feel extremely embarrassed. Not Brandon.

    Likewise, the connected video interview of Brandon showed as the typical highly intelligent Austin IT creep. I’ve met a ton of them. The guy you want working on your enterprise systems, but not at your cocktail party. Unfortunately, as Moxie predicted, about 20% of the comments section in the Austin paper seemed devoted to more or less excusing or “reasoning” why this guy’s actions were okay. Or at least “understandable.” Considering the Matriarchy and everything. WTF?

    I won’t bore anyone with my own story, but if there are any doubters on how BPD/stalkers aggressively utilize the court systems with frivolous lawsuits to force contact and gain information, just browse “I know you really love me,” by Doreen Orion or “Stalkers and their Victims” by Paul Mullen. Brandon is working that template to a T. With his sense of entitlement (read= ownership), he is trying to compel her to act in a certain way.

    The woman made a big mistake by engaging/responding to him on social media, which is exactly what he wanted. The responses only feed his fixation, as do, no doubt, supportive e-mails from some dudes (he’ll ignore the 98% negative responses, and focus on the 2% positive ones; again, this is how these people think, “ideas/delusions of reference,” as the professionals call it). The media also, unfortunately, feeds his fixation, as all the interviews give him more chances to explain his “cause,” which is actually nothing more than a BPD/stalker pursuit.

    The Red Pill/MRA movement, or a segment of that movement, has provided an ideological and emotional home for creeps and failures, most of whom are fairly harmless, but a few of whom—and again, these are sometimes guys with very high intelligence– are prepared to cross every line. Brandon’s already shown he’s willing to cross quite a few. Think he’ll stop now?

    The good thing for this woman is that at least guns are very easy to buy in Texas.

    Like

  10. I cannot believe people are STILL texting in movie theaters after that guy got shot that time. And in Texas, no less. I know Austin’s not really Texas, but still: people from Texas can get into Austin, you guys. Anyway, Brandon is a douche, but I’m finding it harder to get outraged about this kind of thing in Tr**p’s America. I’m sticking with numbness. Numbness and shrugging are getting me through most days, now.

    Like

Comments are closed.