Here’s an article to make you ragey:
Now, I don’t believe that anybody is obligated to perform a certain sex act. When it comes to sex, everybody who has sex has different likes and dislikes. If a man or woman said that they just didn’t enjoy giving head, I’d shrug and say, “Okay.” I like giving head, and that’s why i do it. I don’t perform oral sex in order to get something in return. But I draw the line at someone who won’t go down on me because they have very obvious biases towards vaginas.
This dude can spare me all his assurances that he loves women and loves vaginas. He doesn’t. Know how I know that? Why, from these two lines:
Like most humans, I too have a sense of smell and that’s he [sic] first drawback. I never liked the smell, regardless of the level of hygiene a girl possessed.
And if it weren’t already hard enough to have it splattered against your face – with your nose pointing directly to the centre of the stench
Aaaand scene. If a person equates a “stench” to a vagina, they’re harboring some internalized misogynistic views about vaginas. You know, those things they claim to love.
Listen, I love giving head. It doesn’t thrill me when a man’s ball sack has a slight tinge of urine or if his pubic hair is unwieldy, but I soldier on! What truly offends me about the author’s two statements is that he makes no mention of the possible unpleasantries of being nose to testicle. Nope. It’s all about the stinky vag.
Most importantly, however, women are absurdly demanding when it comes to oral sex.
Make note of the use of the word “demanding.” Something tells me that this guy equates “giving instruction” with “demanding.” It’s not easy for most women to climax. In fact, for something like sixty or seventy percent of us, it’s impossible to come without clitoral stimulation. Though, weirdly, I can orgasm with a vibrator but not with P-in-V penetration. Go figure.
I can not be the only person who picks up on this guy’s blatant insecurity about his cunnilingus skills, right? And that – just maybe – he doesn’t like eating women out because he fears he’s not good at it. But instead of taking ownership of that fact, he blames the unfortunate smells and tastes associated with a vagina. (He describes the taste of women’s vaginal secretions as “rusty”.)
BUT HE LOVES WOMEN, YOU GUISE!
Here’s the deal: if you’re someone who says things like, “I love going down on men/women…as long as their showered and clean” you don’t actually enjoy giving head. You don’t. Because here’s the thing: sex is messy. You’re putting tongues and fingers in orifices, you’re swapping fluids, you’re sweating. There’s nothing clean about sex. It’s one of the few times where you throw caution to the wind and don’t wash your hands before touching certain things. Anybody expecting a vagina or penis to smell like peony and fresia is woefully inexperienced. Sure, the scents and tastes involved with sex can sometimes be unsavory. I don’t love swallowing semen, but I do it if the moment calls for it and I’m in the mood. It’s literally part of the package.
The worst thing you can do when you’re between someone’s legs like that is to shame them. That goes for men and women equally. The author of this piece is so disconnected from his true feelings that he’s unaware of offensive his article is. You don’t have to love eating me out. You don’t even have to do it. But you’re not going to get away with blaming me for your feelings inadequacy. I will call you on it.