Maria of Agape Match is one of if not the only matchmaker I would ever refer to people. If she says she’ll scour the earth looking for your ideal match, she’ll do it. And – no – I do not get paid a commission for referring clients to her. I know her personally and have seen the hoops she jumps through to meet the expectations of her clients. That being said, let’s talk about this story she posted to Facebook.
Let’s get one thing straight: the purpose of sending one of these Venmo invoices is not to get the money back. While I believe dolts like this man are stupid to some degree, they can’t be that stupid. These requests are essentially thinly-veiled attempts at extortion, as the person sending it (usually a man) know the woman won’t pay, which in his mind gives him permission to stalk and harass her. These stories aren’t funny anymore, not after the nightmare experienced by this woman. To summarize, a man filed a civil case in court to get his $20 back allegedly because the woman was texting during a date. Now, do you really believe that’s the reason? Because I don’t. I think this man-baby got his feelings hurt, so he decided he was going to make her pay, not with money, but with her reputation and safety. It’s time for news outlets and venues and fucking Venmo (whose brand is quickly becoming associated with this nonsense) to draw a hard line here. Enough. Yeah, sure, you might get some publicity out of it and your brand name might get some exposure, but at what cost?
See, men like this know they can’t beat us up for rejecting them without going to jail (well, sometimes) so they go another more passive aggressive route. They think, “I know, I’ll threaten to publicly shame her. That’ll teach her for turning me down.” It’s an act of revenge, pure and simple. For the folks in the cheap seats, let me remind you that a man seeking revenge never really ends in the woman’s favor.
Now that we’ve covered that, let’s address – AGAIN – that if you just sit there waiting for a man to pay that check, you’re an asshole. I don’t care what your Mom or your girlfriends told you about chivalry. Screw chivalry. You are not entitled to a free anything because you graced someone with your presence. So what if he chose the place? That means nothing. You met on Tinder, for fuck’s sake. The chances of dates borne from a dating app like Tinder or Bumple turning into something substantive are pretty small and we all know it. Stop acting like you’re Kate Middleton.
As for those of us who re-tweet and share stories like this, consider first publicly calling out news organizations and payment platforms like Venmo for enabling this misogynistic bullshit.